“A Great Relationship Happens When Two People Who Truly Understand Each Other and Love Each Other for Who They Are Come Together and Create Something Stronger Than Either of Them Could Ever Be on Their Own” – Anonymous.
Everyone desires a great relationship and in one way or the other they work towards having one. This is weather we are in one relationship or we are anticipating a relationship in the nearest future. The Relationship being spoken of here describes a love relationship between a man and woman with marriage in view (which I must say is not so common these days). I will like to say that I am a strong supporter of the school of thought that marriage should be an end in view in starting any reasonable relationship which must be prosecuted by mature minds. With this as a background, I will like to present three notable variables needed to have and sustain a great relationship. They are Faith, Patience and, Love.
Faith is a strong persuasion in God and in His ability and counsel. There must be faith in God in submission to His person and ruler-ship over the participants. This gives a basis of guidance and cautioning through any issues in the relationship. Also on faith must be a persuasion in God’s opinion and consent of the relationship. Participants must be able to declare confidently that they are persuaded God wanted them to be in the relationship (that is conviction). This happens through having fellowship with God. I do not particularly speak of an extreme or peculiar case where people say they heard or are waiting for a deep voice (which is possible and happens) but because the Christian has a relationship with God then there must be a way communication is done with God which he(the believer) is aware of. Such that s/he is persuaded by God to get into the relationship. The implication is that when issues or challenges arise there is a substance of what is hoped for and an evidence not seen that keeps you going with an assurance that it is by God.
Patience is used as long suffering in some versions of the bible. This is the ability to wait a little longer without giving up on someone, an issue or on God concerning a matter. That is being able to persevere. This must begin with being able to be patient with God concerning various situations and training He will be taken you and your partner through. Being able to stay put with God will help any individual build strength and maturity for any life’s situation that confronts him/her. Then the need for patience for one another concerning every issue, fictions or challenges. Being patient gives time to hear one another out and make a head way, it gives chance to believe in each other and see progress in one another’s lives. Patience will save a lot of anger, wrath and quarrels. It will save a lot of heartbreaks and emotional hurts and health problems. Patience should be considered as first option before reacting to any action. Take a little time to hear him or her out why s/he acted or reacted the way s/he did before you react. Be patient believing that your partner will get better at that situation you always correct her/him on. Patience saves us from so much unwarranted dangers and misunderstanding.
Love is to prefer others above self. A pastor friend describes love as being able to die for the other. Different places in scripture speaks of love being epitomized in what Jesus did on the cross for humanity. 1John4v10 clearly describes it as ” herein is love,..that He loved us and gave Himself for us”. He placed himself in arms way for our good because He loves us. Love is giving up your pride, ego, comfort, security, preferences etc for the good of the other. With loads of this in the relationship, so many things will be taken care of. If it is understood and coming from both ends, the common ground would be discovered. Note that, Love is not about a ratio of 50:50 contribution or sacrifice, it is about giving up willing from the heart to see the other person get better even if it puts you in harm’s way which may be a a ratio 90:10 contribution or sacrifice. Love never fails and it will surely make any relationship great. It is a significant consideration for a triumphant relationship between two people. The balance in the commitment will be defined as both parties come with the same mind and together they can identify who needs to benefit more at a particular decision time.
I feel people may want to ask where is money, sex, material needs, pride, family, beauty, communication etc appear on my already exhausted list. Well, every other thing will be taken care of in Faith, Patience and Love. Non of the above mentioned should be treated with levity but with sincerity in God every one of them would be dealt with in the three vital points mentioned. Some of these will be discussed in one of our future editions.
Your relationship can be a great one and it will be dependent on how you want it to be.
Do have a great time committing to that relationship and be aware that it will require a conscious effort and commitment from both parties. You are bound to achieve much more than you can achieve alone when you both commit to work hard together in one accord in your relationship. Make God the foundation it is founded upon, be patient in building together and establish every decision on love then a great relationship with multiple fruits awaits you.
Pastor Ayo Adeoye